Posted by vivian

My boyfriend is on drugs, is a drug peddler, has dreadlocks not to my liking, an alcoholic and i dumped him because the cons are more than pros. He loves me and i know it but i dumped him anyway. Was that mean? And is what i did right?


Dear Vivian,

I can imagine the situation you are in, not sure whether the decision you have made is the correct one or not. From what you have written, you weighed the positives and negatives of being in this relationship and also whatever your boyfriend is involved in are things that you do not approve and you are uncomfortable. The fact that you were able to do this assessment, is a great step towards making a wise decision.

Vivian, breaking up with a person does not mean that you are mean, it means that his expectations, values and principles and yours did not agree and therefore the relationship cant work. Yes, it is difficult and you may blame yourself for the break up; however you need to understand the reasons as to why you made that decision and move on.

Accepting the break up, surrounding yourself with people that you care and love, doing things that you love, looking back and appreciating the best moments you spent together may help you to deal with the break up and not feel guilty.

Check out this article for more information on how to get over a break up:-

Vivian, if you feel that your boyfriend does need help, you can support him to attend therapy sessions in a counselling centre near you or if you know any rehabs that does counselling for drug users you can refer him. However please know that change has to come from within and it is a gradual progress towards recovery.

Love Matters Team.