Posted by omosh

I have a boyfriend who loves me so much together with my child who is not his. I moved in with him last year when I was expectant partly cause I was embarrassed of staying at home and he also begged me to do so. my mum too felt that it was OK. the problem is that I have never felt sexual attraction towards him and he is aware despite the fact that I have known him for 7 years. I betrayed him and got someone else's child yet he stills managed to forgive me and get back with me. he is about to officially bring dowry home and take me as his wife. should I take my time and think about it first or I just accept his plans and get married. I don't love him like a lover but rather care for him. please advice


Dear Omosh,

Thank you for sharing with us your situation. I am glad that you are aware of your feelings and partly you seem to know what you want. It good to have a friend that you can trust, care for and who is there for you in times of need. That shows that you can have an intimate conversation on your friendship.

I feel what you suggested about taking time and think through is a good idea. Take time, assess the friendship, ask yourself a few questions on whether this is the right partner for you or no. I hope after that you will have made a wise and informed decision.

Check out this article for more insights:-

Love Matters Team.


one more thing. In Europe and Western countries guys are advised to follow their hearts when it comes to marriage. so they go for partners whom they are sexually attracted to and compatible with. Does it also apply the same here in Kenya or its just a matter of making ends meet together because times are hard here. Can sexual love develop in marriage when it ain't there at the beginning. And is it a must for partners to get intimate and share romance while married (like having sex)?. Thanks. Will be grateful if I'm helped with thoughts in that line.


Thanks for the articles. they are very informative and helps one in making a wise decision


You are welcome. Wish you the best.