Sex

Posted by D3pr3551on

I am a guy. My girlfriend loves sex, at first it was the normal stuff. Then wanted to be adventurous. Now she wants but stuff. I love her. I'm really not up for that stuff. When I say no. She gets abusive. Then she says she will hurt her self if I leave. I don't want stuff inserted into my ass. What do I do? I love her. I'm scared to say no. I can't leave her.

Answer
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Hi D3pr3551on, from what you have told us, it seems that your girlfriend is not respecting your boundaries. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain what your boundaries are and how her wanting to cross them is not something you are not comfortable with. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive.
Also, her behaviour towards your turning her down is abuse, let her know this. You have autonomy over your body and nobody should force you to do things you are not ready or willing to do.

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Well, it was a huge disaster. We fought, we've not spoken the whole week. If I hadn't made her angry. I feel terrible about it. Im thinking of just doing it. Is anal sex painful? Google has confused me. And got me worried. And honestly I'm confused. I understand that relationships aren't the same but this feels hard. When I do what she wants everything ia okay. But when I make her angry it all changes.

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It is understandable to feel terrible because she got angry but it is also completely normal for you to have boundaries even if it makes her feel upset. Relationships are also about compromise. Also, are you considering it because you are curious or because you want her to be happy? Or both? It is completely fine either way but do not get coerced into something you do not want to do, just because it will make someone happy if it will compromise your peace of mind. More importanly, it is imparative that you remember that her blackmailing you into doing something you do not want to do by threatening to hurt herself is a form of abuse and it is very wrong of her to do that bro. If you do consider wanting to go ahead with it, do not worry, here are some tips: https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/guide-to-first-time-anal-sex  but consider what we have said.

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I read the article. I found it tips I hope I can remember when the time comes. Shes in quarantine for now. I have a while to breath. Honestly I am doing it to make her happy. I honestly am alive to please her. If she leaves me. I honestly don't want to think about it.