Relationships

Posted by Mercy Mwangi

Hie am mercy 27 year's,I broke up with my husband
Early December 2017 coz he has been cheating on me. I saw the texts on his phone from different ladies, What hurts me most alikuwa anakuja home mapema anajifanya anaplay game but anachat. Nilipomuliza alikataa and coz Nilichukua zile number za wasichana wenye anachat na wao, niliwapigia simu and waliniambia he says is not married, its now a month and he has never called me and we have a9 months baby, please help am stressed, I can't sleep. On the fateful day alinichapa saana and decided to leave with everything but Ido love him so much

Answer
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Dear Mercy,

Wow! It is never easy to find out that your partner has been cheating on you. It becomes more complicated when the person has been saying that he is not married and he denies the acquisitions. Have you tried to reach him yourself? If not you, have you sent someone to talk to him or you are waiting for him to contact you?

If you are ready to mend, maybe you may want to reach out to him and get to hear where he is at and what he want moving forward. As you do this, you also need to be certain of what you want yourself. At the end of the day, remember happiness comes from inside you, no one can make you happy if you are not.

Check out this article:- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/relationship-problems/cheating.

Wish you the best.

Love Matters Team.

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I have not reached him, am just silent on it, I think if I start begging him and I start talking to him he will think am desperate and I can't move on, the truth is he can't look for me and am 100% sure he can't. On the material day alinichapa, the mother in law couldn't help and anakuwanga Mamas boy, am stressed coz nilibeba kila kitu yangu nikamwachia tu manguo zake

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Hello Mercy,

I am sorry for what you are going through. It is my hope that you sought medical attention and also you reported the issue of being beaten to the authority. If you have not, you may consider doing that.

For communication to happen, there must be one of you who is willing to bow down and reach out to the other person. Unless this happens you may not know what the other person want. Even as you consider talking to your husband, what is it that you want? Do you want to reconcile with him or do you want separation? If it is to reconcile, what does it mean for you? How will you deal with the trust issues? How will you deal with the fact that he is Mama's boy and that his mother always defends him? How will you rebuild the relationship with your mother in law which already seems broken.

If you choose separation, what does it mean for you? Are you ready for it? What will it mean to the upbringing of your child? Are you willing to go the court way so that you can get child support from him?

Perhaps, you may want to talk to a counselor for psycho social support. Also, you can talk to someone that you trust and whom your husband can listen to, to act as a mediator.

Take your time Mercy, heal, then think rationally on what you really want. Remember each decision that you make has consequences, therefore make an informed decision.

All the best.

Love Matters Team.

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Love matters, I want us to reconcile but not separation, Mother in law

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Love matters, I want us to reconcile but not separation, Mother in law ndiye aliingilia and supported his son by telling me ishould leave his sons house iko na mwenyewe, so hurting, every time we had a fight with the guy the mother in law always told me ishould leave his son, so hurting

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Mercy,

Please take your time, think through what you have gone through and also what you want. It is also important that you reflect on your relationship, what made you get married to your husband, could that be a reason to hold this relationship. Mercy I do suggest that you seek help from a professional counselor that you can have face to face conversation.

Check out this article for more information: https://lovematters.co.ke/marriage/thinking-about-marriage/family-disagr...

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Hie, we have been talking with my husband recently though he doesn't accept he was the person who made mistake, he is actually blaming me, secondly if I ask him abt the way forward he answers me this way, ( the way forward is in my hands) sasa am worried of wat he mean though he doesn't talk to me much, unless I call him. Lastly he told me that, unajua wewe ndio umenitafuta sio mimi, I feel bad abt it, kindly help