Posted by waga

hi, there is this girl i have been dating since 2015 when she was in form 3, and she is the first girl i have ever been in a relationship with, but since last year when she got out of high school a guy(mike) tried to date her but they never managed to get the relationship going and the guy turned abusive to her and the guy also confronted me about being in a relationship with the girl but with me i got over it, after that incident the girl changed, she never initiated any conversation(texting or calling me first before i do) like she used to do before where a day could not pass without her getting in touch since we are in college in different places. After that incident she suggested we terminate the relationship but i convinced her that we just continue but when we met around December after 3 months without seeing each other i realised there was a another guy(joe) she was trying to date, when i asked her, she told me there was nothing between them.

that decemeber is when we had sex for the first time after 3 yrs, but during that incident i realised she has never had sex before and she also came to visit me in school around feb, and things were moving fine but she was still in touch with the guy(joe) i suspected she had something to do with but she cleared my doubts about him and i let the story go.
around april i went to stay in the same town she goes to school to, i felt more needy for time and intimacy with but she told me to relax until august when she finishes exam the we can spend some time

unfortunately last week one of my friends(vic) caught her in the room of the guy she told me she had nothing to do with, where she spent the previous night with the guy(joe), he also gathered that she has been spending most weekends there. when i confronted her she gave me some reasons lke, she wanted to quit but i refused, her mother don't want our relationship

bt now i find it hard to end the relationship and i want to move on with her, she claims she ended both the relationships but promising to get intimate when she finishes exam and i feel she will do it since she has never lied to me about doing that. what can i do


Dear Waga,

You seem to know your partner well and your relationships sounds like there is some level of open communication - which is a key element in a happy relationship. However, you also need to realize that you are in a crucial stage in your life- both of you are studying.

Mutual respect is an important element of a relationship. If she want time to concentrate on her studies then give the relationship attention later, then the best thing you can do is to respect her decision. Remember this does not mean that you can not talk to each other, it just means that there is no that commitment to a relationship.

Check this article out:

Love Matters Team.