Hi, my name is Mary and I'm 19 years old. I've been seeing this guy for five months now. He's 25 but he is married. I love him with every beat of my heart but I know he is married. I've been trying to break up with him but I haven't been able too. I just love him so much and the thought of me even loosing him shatters my heart. The problem is I try to find flaws in him so that I can at least stop loving him so much but I haven't succeeded. He treats me with utmost respect, love and care and that is the problem. I have never once in this relationship ever felt that he did not love me or felt disrespected. But I know that I'm breaking another person's heart because recently his wife found out about us and i know she was hurt badly. I feel so bad for her cause I cannot even begin to imagine the pain I have caused her and tears my heart just to think about what I put her through. But then again I do not want to hurt him because he has proved more than once that he really loves me. I'm at that point in my life where I do not know what to do or what to even make of this situation. Please help
Hi Mary, thanks for posting your question on Love matters. That is a very difficult position that you are in.
Its very easy to get caught up in a love triangle and it can cause a lot of pain and disturbance to the parties involved.
Its a good thing you are aware of what is happening and the pain and damage you are causing to the other woman. You need to really put yourself in her shoes and think how difficult it must be for her.
It can be difficult to make a decision when you let your emotions take control. You need to ask yourself a few questions about the situation.
1. Where do you see this relationship going
2.Is breaking someone else's marriage worth the relationship?
3.Is a man cheating on his wife noble or trustworthy?
4.How long are you willing to be in this position.
5.What makes you think he will be faithful to you even if he breaks up with the wife?
6.Will you be able to live with the guilt of breaking up a marriage?
These are just a few of many questions you need to be asking yourself.
Breaking up is never easy but is very doable. Here's an article that can help with that https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/how-break .
If you feel guilty about the situation then it means you know you are doing something wrong and you need to correct it.
You were looking for a flaw in him and him being unfaithful is a big flaw.
Stop looking at all the reasons why that relationship is good for you and start looking at why its wrong, that will help you in making a more sober decision.
You are young and have plenty of time to be in a relationship that you are happy in and not hurting another person.
Think about the situation and make the right decision.