Posted by Nora Favour Omondi

Hey am married for four years now but I feel that am wasting time in this ralationship. My husband never identifys me as his wife but the mother of her daughter, never say how he feel about me , never include me in his plans ,can never take correction from me, can never ask for my suggestion.we stay together but you will hear him say things like, I pay rent for you, If by luck he gives out money to buy food he will pit it like this, go buy food for the child ,if he pays for for my medication wants refund,surely what could be the problem, please help


Dear Nora,

I am sorry for what you are going through and I can only imagine how it is for you to have to live with a person that you feel does not love, care or even appreciate who you are. It can be distressing.

Sometimes, relationships go through tough times, sometimes there are disagreements but how you navigate each season is what matters. Just a few questions- was the marriage coerced or did you agree to get into it? Have you ever tried to address the issues that you both have? Have you ever asked him what the issue could be? Have you engaged a third party in addressing the issues - your parents?

Fours years is not a short time to be married, perhaps you need to take "me" time and reflect on this relationship. Ask yourself a few questions; Is the relationship worth your time, what value do you add to this relationship. what could have been your contribution to the ways things are at the moment, are there things you can do to change the situation. Have you thought of seeking services of a professional counsellor?

Remember, sometimes you have to make a tough decision to have sanity in your life.

Check out this article for more information:-

Love Matters Team.