Posted by prossymk

Hello Moderator,I need some help cause am totally confused.
Am 27,with 3children of the same father bt nolonger staying with their dad.
Am stayin with mum for two year now. Bt am havin a very big problem wea by i dont kw how to solve it.I met sm1 and we ve bn 2gether for almost 1year,bt in a sereous relationship its six months.wen i realised am pregnant, i informed him and he was like are ub sereous??
After that reaction i became annoyed and told him i was 2 go for abortion.He Quarrelled and he was lyk iuf u do abort u will die with my baby.
So i became confused and asked him y he denied @ first so he explained that it happened so first,he was not prepared cause by the tym i realised de pregnancy her wife had a 1month old baby.I was shocked bt her no choice,so i wanted to kw y he never informed [email protected] first an he replied he never knew things wud turn out the way they are....
So i asked him the solution and he said if its ok wiz mi we move on if not i choose wat to do.Then i asked him to let mi go bt he refused insisting as he loves mi.Thje fact i do love him bt i dont spend tym wiz him as it was before i concieved.He z always busy, making ma cals buzy and smtyms prentending as if he speaking wiz a man or stranger.
Those tings do heart but i hav no choice smtyms.I even think of cheating bt again get scare.HELP!!!!


Thanks theresa but am aborn again.


Hi Mk I need to seek clarification so that I'm able to understand you better.

Did he tell you that he has a wife who has a one month old child? So is he currently married to another woman?


Its now 1 year wen we are 2gether. But he never told mi he had a wife either a child.He only used to tell mi that he was once in love and the girl went on and cheated and concieved.After that she wanted to abort bt he refused her cause he waslike may she had cheated but again the child wud be his.So after giving birth they went for DNA and it came out wen the baby wasnt his.Am 3months now pregnant bt he told mi not to abort bt insisted we will see everyting after givin birth.Havnever cheated and am sure am carrying his child .I realised he had a 1month old baby after telling him that was pregnant.Back then he used to stay in the same town am staying bt then shifted to another town and started staying with his sister.We used to talk on phone,meet on weekends until wen i we that side,he took mi and spent a night there.But early in the mornin sm1 knocked and i was scared cause i had already seen clothes for ladies and didnt ask,so he opened and she was the sister.He introduced mi as a friend,i was shocked so she called her out side and talked,he came bak quiet and asked him wat happened and he explained that the sister was annoyed because he brought alady in de house yet he has a wife and son.Thats wen i believed that he had awife and son.i left,we communicated until i reached home.After 2weeks had passed,i 4got my phone @work he called 7times and the texted mi sayin thanks for wat u r doing.Early in de morning after seein the missed cals i called bak bt he was making his phone busy.After smtym he picked and shouted at mi to get wat to do if didnt hav work.Called again and he told mi i was wiz a man dats why i didnt pick up.From that i cud call bt he never picked up,texted no reply on fb,watsup he refused to reply.I even reached apoint of asking him to block /blacklist mi bt he dint for 1full month.After one month,i decided to call he didnt pick so i decided to text telling him that i wanted just to kw if he will take care for his child and even let mi move on since he never wanted 2 communicate with mi.After 30mints he called and he was like the phone was stolen and he had lost my number i kept quiet cause i never wanted to quarrel wiz him.He was lyk hw z my baby en u i said we r fine and he promised to cal de next day.I heard a baby crying then i realised that they begun staying 2gether.After smtym he explained dat he didnt pick up cause wenever i called he was home and the son was sick.Wen i realised he z stayin with the wife i take long to cal his phone.Bt i wudnt mind if he was looking after mi.Thats my short story moderator


Hi Prossy,

It sounds as though he was cheating on you the whole time.

If he is willing to take care of his child and you are ok with keeping it then there is nothing to worry about.

You just need to take time to heal and move on so that your able to pick up the pieces. There is no reason why your life should not move on and you can meet someone else an be happy.

Take time to reflect and make up your mind about what you want for yourself and how you want you life to be from this stage and then action it.

Check out this article to get further assistance .


Thanks alot moderator i will try my best and see what to end with.


You are most welcome. All he best.


Let me begin by saying POLE you are a victim of unclear circumstance,kindly let me not sound rude but you are ruining you own life 27 you haave 3 kids and one coming soon.. father?????Kindly deliver the kid and make sure the father takes responsibilities unfortunately he is not likely to marry you!recollect your life and succeed there is still time and you are young dear!!