Posted by Vee

Hello Love Matters,
You can call me Jey.
I have been with this guy for 5 months now. He's in his final year in campus. I graduated last year. We're both 23 yrs. I love this guy deeply. The issue is, we have never gone out. We spend our time together indoors mostly. If it's not indoors then in his favorite place where he hangs out with his friends as they take some drinks but mostly late in the evening when he comes home from campus.

Sometimes he chooses to remain silent for even two weeks and when I ask he says he's been busy. I understand sometimes coz he's a Law Student at UoN and I know the kinda work involved. But my question is, Is it normal or okay? Coz I find two weeks a long period of time to just keep off and not communicate and especially if you love someone.


Hello Jey,

Thank you for trusting us with your relationship information, indeed you are two different people. You seem to be the outgoing person while he is a laid back guy; perhaps you both need to consider how to blend those two characters and ensure everyone enjoys being in the relationship.

You mentioned that you have never gone out, but you also said that you sometimes visit his favorite hang out, maybe what is your definition of going out? Is it being in clubs? Is it going out for a whole weekend out? Have you told your partner how you would like it done and where you would like to go out? Maybe you need to surprise him and take him out to your favorite place.

Communication is a key ingredient in any healthy relationship and lack of it makes the relationship flat and it can lead to a break up? Have you both agreed on ways of communication either loudly or silently? Apart from face to face conversation, have you both kept the other channels of communication open? Have you talked to him and expressed your feelings towards the silence for 2 weeks? What has been his commitment and has he lived to it? If you have not talked about, during your indoors time you can raise it up and address it.

Another key aspect of a relationship and especially at the beginning is talking about your expectations of the relationship, do you know his and does he know yours? Maybe it is time to start communicating with your partner more!

Check out this tips on how to communicate to your partner:

Wish you the best.

Love Matters Team.