Posted by Feruzi Matoto Wessex

Am 20yrs now I felt in luv with a woman who is older than me,we have been dating a woman of 28yrs,now its coming to 8month when am in luv with her.She has a husband with two children I been going at his home bcoz de woman told me we should play it as a mission.She told me that her heart doesn't luv her husband, its wen she told that am the only person who give her happiness.
Rumours made our mission down and the husband got it DAT we are dating and we had a little fight with the husband but me I did not give back to him bcoz I knew am the one who is wrong.Jus bcoz the woman truely loved and told her husband DAT she is not willing to separate with me.Then we settled DAT down like in July this year now am a friend to both of them the husband and the wife plus there family.
But now I have got some mis understanding of her and me and what is causing DAT,I found in her phone a snap with another guy whom I know(before when I felt in luv with her my 1st question was?how many are we in luv with you and she said me and her husband"i said ok)and I asked her! who is this and she replied that his her friend.I was OK with that but me to continue seeing the photos to find another photo when she is lying on bed with that guy.Then I asked her does she also go at his home she replied rude and tough that nooo.then I asked where were u here,she didn't reply..then after a little quarrel its when she told me that they were at someone's place and I had already gone thru there conversation also showed me there's something she's hiding from me then I told her that she put our profile picture(here I was just tempting her) when am with her she said I will,the next day I told her she also refused like as there's something she still hiding and she told me that am not supposed to tell her,I also told her,have I been telling you to put on them, she said no,then I told her am begging u to put it on for really she refused.Now should I keep on thinking she have a hidden secret(really lying on bed it really hurt me like nothing and am still doubting it)bcoz I told her if it was just a snap not on bed it was going to be ok.I have lost disrespect(she call me each and everything she want not only that but also abusive) from her whenever I try to talk about it she just said that I think like a child and not only that but also says that your young that's true am young than her.
For really I had decided to tell her that we break up but she told me that I trust her.But how am going to trust some one who takes long to reply to me on medias when am seeing she active and she had a reaction on my message and when she reply,she replies rude.when ever if me/her could spent a day without calling it could cost her like nothing but that one i was ok with it.Honestly I have tried to tell her but she can't change.I gave her all my trust but since I saw that photo I lost all the trust I had for,beside that she have been giving excuses but since I trusted her I was OK with it.But since she started giving me excuses its when I found those photos and I told her may be the excuses you been giving they were for that.
For really am confused what can I do my fellow brothers and sister's
Don't forget this she is older than me different of 8yrs.I will be so glad to get some idea's from u.
Thank u for going thru.I did not lie her in terms of head is jus full of question marks¿¿?some times it cause me not to sleep tonight.
what can I do???
Yours friend,
Feruzi matoto


Hello Matoto,

I can imagine the situation and the pressure you are going through. Sometimes a relationship does not go the way we expect especially when that relationship is with someone who is in another committed relationship. I am glad that you did not get into this relationship blindly, you knew that the lady is married and have children therefore she could not dedicate all her attention and time to you.

Matoto, you need to understand that, while she may say that loves and she need you to trust this may not be the same for her to you. Don't expect to get everything you want/ request for, always remember she is in a committed relationship. Does her putting up your profile picture mean that she is your forever?

Take time, evaluate this relationship and ask yourself a few questions; 1. Is this the kind of the relationship you want, where you always have to fight for attention with another man and children? 2. Is there anything I can do now to change the current situation? 3. If I leave the relationship, what does that mean to me? 4. If I stay, what does it mean? Think about these carefully and make an informed decision.

Check out this article:

Love Matters Team.


Thank for very much moderator.
But on my side thing are becoming tough,for really I want to break up.just because she have totally changed.she no longer even replying to my message though I been giving her privacy respect but time reached and I found some cheating kind of like.sharing of photos of hers and found when she have took some photos with some one not only like other photo should be taken like to a friend but they were on the bed....its when I asked what is this she told that his a friend. Then I said a friend is really OK you to take photos on the same bed.She just became tough.
I asked her why all this,instead she told that is nonsense and she told that am over complaining... For really moderator what can I do really.Because when I told her at least if the photo you had took it with your husband it was going to be OK...she replied! Excuse me.for really I approve she doesn't love her husband.
Moderator(crying me)should I break up or I 1st give it time.Honestly speaking am always just crying because for some one who is not mine.Help me moderator (am just in tears for really I still want her honestly).
Uuuuhhmm!for really am failing.
Yours friends,
Feruzi matoto
Thank you!